Giving Back with Vida’s Vulva Cupcakes

Yes! I put a call out for lovely guests who want to Give Back to the internet by sharing something that others may not know – Check out the post here – and give me a shout if you fancy joining in!
My first guest is the wonderful Vida Bailey who is sharing her extensive knowledge of butter cream icing – fuck yeah!!! Take it away Ms B
Butter cream, mmm, butter cream.
047.JPGExcept… any time I buy a cupcake it tastes of icing sugar and paste. Huge heaps of it. On a dry cupcake. I won’t go there today, let’s stick with the butter cream. A friend said she doesn’t like cupcakes because the frosting doesn’t taste of anything. She hasn’t had mine yet! My cupcakes bring all the girls (and often discerning boys) to the yard.
But, I do agree that it’s a frosting that is a little too sweet for a lot of adult palates. And yes, children tend to eat the frosting and then leave the cake – maybe there’s a (slightly disgusting and unhygienic) solution to be found in that equation. I do have a friend who saves the frosting ‘til last, but I think that’s a waste. There should be enough for every bite, in my boring opinion. Not do I agree with the friend who critiqued my cupcakes by saying you shouldn’t see any cake at the edge. I don’t think that’s true, personally. Less is more, and anyway, I make up for it with the height of the swirl, not the width of it. Rose swirls go all the way to the edge, the others don’t have to.
I’m getting ahead of myself. Pasty frosting. Puts people off cupcakes, makes them disparage them as ‘just buns for yummy mummies to get competitive over’.
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I disagree. To the point that I find myself filled with an inexplicable rage when I hear this opinion aired. Or maybe I just don’t like my co-worker very much. Anyway…
My butter cream frosting has butter. And cream. And a variety of flavours. What Christmas fare do we have here? Chai cupcakes with cherry filling and white chocolate vanilla butter cream topped with a cookie. That white chocolate frosting is incredible on dark chocolate cupcakes dusted with cinnamon.

Or a strawberry cupcake with fresh strawberry and liqueur butter cream… these are a palate surprising revelation, let me tell you.



017.JPGContinuing the fruit theme, blackberry minis with blackberry and whiskey frosting, for a book launch – berries gathered from the house where the memoir is set! This was a really lovely one.



Vanilla chocolate butter cream modified from a favourite cake recipe. Photo credit to my friend Nicola.

So, how? Well, babies, let me tell you. I’m afraid a Kitchen Aid style cake mixer makes life an awful lot easier. I know it’s out of budget for a lot of people – it was out of budget for me, but I bought it anyway. I’m probably still paying it off about four years later, but I’m still glad I did. If you don’t have one, a hand held mixer will do.

choccupcake.jpgStart with about half a pound of butter, mix it ‘til it’s creamy. If you’re adding melted chocolate, mix it in afterwards. Slowly add about three cups of icing sugar bit by bit. If adding cocoa or drinking chocolate, mix it in with the sugar. Once it’s incorporated, pop on your mixer to medium speed and let it mix away for a while, ‘til it gets paler. Now you can add your vanilla (I would suggest always adding  vanilla, vanilla makes everything better). Any other liquid flavours like liqueur or lemon go in now too. You can add your fruit purée then, pop it in bit by bit, so it doesn’t curdle. I’ve had really good results with strawberry, berries, lemon (zest and essence) and passion fruit.  I used to put in a couple tablespoons of cream, but now I find myself adding more, as the lighter and fluffier the better. You can’t really beat it too long – the longer you leave it the whiter, creamier and lovelier it becomes.
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Halloween Mint Aero frosted
chocolate cakes, with ghosties
Then, put your icing nozzle into a big icing bag. Buy the big wide pastry tips and maybe a coupler too. You want a closed star tip for swirls. Get a container or pint glass, drop the bag in and fold it down over the edge – makes it easier to fill with icing. Squeeze the air out, twist the top, and hold it firmly while you ice your cakes. Turn your cake as you go. If you’re putting on sprinkles or anything, better do it before you refrigerate. I don’t know, they say not to put cupcakes in the fridge, but I actually like them solid as well, with all the flavours condensing together. There are great videos on youtube that illustrate all this and more.
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Let me leave you with a little bit of fun, just to keep things erotic. I made these for a Tantra workshop. Can you spot yours? 😉

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Wow! Thanks so much for all this information Vida! My favourite are the vulvas – absolutely superb – I must give them a go.
Thanks for joining in the Giving Back to the Internet fun 😀
By the way – if you’re new to Vida – please take a look at her blog and tumblr – totally shamazeballs of butter cream and more including erotic writing – find her at these places x x x

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