She lies back
and begins to think of all the people she lets down in a day. She starts with
you. Your packed lunch she forgot to make. She doesn’t usually prepare one for you,
but in her head, she imagines heart shaped sandwiches with a love note tucked
in by a polished red apple.

This is what she
imagines herself doing as she reaches out and presses the snooze button.

By the time
you’re at the door, she’s already failed you in so many ways. The shirt she
meant to hang up that you had to iron at the last minute when you found it
crumpled on the carpet. The lovely shower she was going to have running ready
for you coming through all sleep rumpled and soft edged. You’d had to draw your
own, waiting patiently for the hot water to come through.

Or the delicious
coffee and croissants she’d wipe from your lips as she leaned in for a goodbye
kiss.

She’s done none
of it.

She’s wakened by
the door slamming as you leave in hurry to catch the bus.

She’s a daily
failure.

She stretches a
guilt ridden stretch and tries to shake her self-directed torture elsewhere.

It’s this time,
this gentle morning glow, that’s when she feels languid and pliant. Not tough
and rigid like she grows throughout the day, coming to its apex as you walk
back through the door.

No, it’s now
where she nestles in the still warm bedding and inhales your scent. Rolls
around and coats her pores in your essence.

Now she’s
relaxed. Now her mind lets go of her guilt and the growing bloom of arousal
begins between her legs. Her eyelids flicker closed and her head tilts back as
tingling floods her senses. She imagines your hand upon her breast, teasing and
rolling her nipple and her touch strays to her chest, playing out the scene from
her imagination. It feels good. She trails her fingertips up to the crook of
her neck and gives her skin a feathery caress, just the way your lips tease her
there. It is an exquisite sensation and sends sparks all the way down to her
sex. Her mouth is watering and she lifts her elbow to her teeth licking and
nibbling at the tender sensitive flesh, setting her nerves alight with arousal.

She pretends
it’s you eating her up, leaving saliva trails over her body, scrolling your
tongue down to her naval as she quivers beneath your touch. There’s a pulse
building in her sex now, a yearning, a need, desire, heat…

Her hands dive
down between her legs and find the fragrant slippery folds of her cunt. She
hears herself groan and imagines it’s you as you feast on the sight of her raw
exposed pussy, slick with desire.

Her fingers sink
easily into herself and she rocks her pelvis trying to get enough pressure to
her clit. It’s not enough. It’s not the same as having your thirteen stone
frame thrusting up against her. She rolls onto her front, squashing her breasts
into the mattress, humping her fists and wriggling around like a cat, trying to
get relief.

The want and
heat build further and she thrusts harder, riding her hand, imagining you
behind her, fucking her hard, holding her hips fast as you slam your full
weight right up inside her greedy sodden cunt.

The image has
her panting and she opens her mouth, grinds her teeth into the pillow and
grunts as her fingers slip and slide inside her desperate pussy. She’s clenching
now, clenching around her fingers and the point of no return is close, she can
feel the unstoppable rising from deep within. Her jaws clamp shut around her
cotton pillowcase and she comes hard, wringing herself out of all her anxiety.
Shuddering, she breathes hot and wet into the pillow as she arrives back into
herself.

When her body
has stilled and cooled she rolls back into your side of the bed and sighs.

Just another way
she has let you down.

She remembers
last night as you reached for her and she turned away. You gave up quickly,
knowing perseverance never wins her over.

She squeezes her
eyes shut, balling her fists into the sockets as the chastisement begins again.

How long until
her next reprieve?

She never knows.

She hopes
tonight, she won’t roll away from your reaching fingertips.

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read all the way x x x