This was meant to be a Sinful Sunday post. I held off.
Today I feel jaded and old and sad.
I don’t have the fight to shrug off my sorrow and my clothes and put out a sexy story or image.
I am simply bewildered and shocked and energyless and I feel absolute guilt for saying so.
I feel terrible that I am so confused about what to do for the best.
Should I be stoic and resolute in my determination to show that I stand and carry on as normal?
Or do I show my fractured vulnerability that is hollow and broken at the thought of shattered lives and families, not only in London and Manchester but the world over.
I can’t find the mojo to bring you fight and positivity today and the burden of that guilt is huge.
I’m tired by people denying climate change and being flippant with our planet.
I may delete this but I feel like at this time, I owe you my honesty. It’s this or I go silent. Maybe that would be better? Or maybe there’s people out there who need to read posts like this too. I simply do not know.
I’m haunted and broken and sorry.
Deep in my heart, I really truly do believe, we shall live in peace someday. A very wise friend of mine reminded me that as a species, we humans are but toddlers in the vast evolution of our planet. We have only been around a very short time – no wonder we struggle and flounder and fight at times. And you know, those words brought me comfort.
Here are links to some other times I did find creativity during times of fear and sadness.
All my love pouring out on you forever,